We Are Not On Tour
by on November 9, 2012 in Uncategorized

we are on tour.

but what does this mean to you, the curious fan? how will it affect the mindless humdrum of your everyday life?

an inquiry by photograph.

firstly, it means that we are all trapped in a van. the van is called van-essa, or otto van bismarck, or sean van deusen, or occasionally woody harrelson, and is pictured here.

klaibervan

klai-baby enters the van. he is seen here smiling, but soon he will not be smiling.

seanvan

sean van deusen is entering the van. he is happy to be irish.

jesse van

jesse enters the van. soon he is soaked in tears, screaming for his freedom [not pictured].

amovan

amo’s head [not pictured] enters the van.

ashervan

asher (from the song “asher”) mounts the van. he is the alpha-male.

allvan

others, with permission from the alpha-male, too mount the van.

 

 

 

 

 

me van

chris points at the van, as if to say, “a man of my caste should not be subjected to such conditions”.

blower sean

susan van deusen entertains, every time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

nextly, it means we have to make our own fun. none of your fancy nintendoes; we have only our terrible, terrible voices to keep us company. in fact, we might record a van song in the van, about the van.

but it is not hard to be entertained.

 

 

 

 

 

dinner wine

beer on the rocks. try it.

amo near wine

much good wine for much good times.

 

thirdly, it means we are exposed to the people of the world. we are learning their respective cultures. we eased into the whole journey by playing a wee house show in harlem for some very fine people. a birthday, in fact. and actually, we learned something very important that night: “happy birthday” is just “goodnight irene”. i know, fucking spooky, right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

asher book graffitti

a fast reader, seen here.

amo sleep graffitti

a slow reader, here.

lastly, it means we have come face to face with the sorry truth: we are really bad nerds. we just get drunk and read.

what, you may be asking, does being trapped in a van, being forced to sing to each other, absorbing some culture, and drinking/reading have to do with MY life? how does bella’s bartok being on tour affect ME?

to answer that, my friends, i shall only say wait ’til we get back…

“there is no greater betrayal than a man shaving his moustache without consulting his mates.” – dr. rob

– Fancy Kerrigan

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